Let's answer this question with a historical comparison.
Through the first two innings of their careers:
Player A - 0.00 ERA, 1.000 WHIP, 3 K
Player B - 0.00 ERA, 1.500 WHIP, 3 K
Player C - 0.00 ERA, 1.000 WHIP, 2 K
Player B is Mariano Rivera. Player C is Lee Smith. Player A is Luke fucking Maile.
We were able to witness the right arm of Luke Maile thanks to the work by the first five Toronto pitchers. Fans at the Rogers Centre were able to see an extended visiting team batting practice as Edwin Jackson got shellacked for three big flies and allowed everyone to go to Jurassic Park early. Thomas Pannone sucked. Derek Law and Zac Rosscup got dinged up. Sam Gaviglio wishes he could have shut off the PlayStation mid inning because it is doubtful his Ernie will ever look as good as it were pre-May 25.
If I was Ross Atkins, I would maintain a Billy Beane-like appearance during home games and stay as far away from the ballpark as possible. Disappear like DB Cooper for the time being. 19 runs on 20 hits to the Padres is low. Real fucking low. Jeter is stifling his laughter. The Jays are dropping rapidly down the hierarchy of the best teams in Toronto. Here's a quick list:
1) Toronto Raptors - a damn shame that we do not get Jack Armstrong tonight. Fuck you Sportsnet.
2) Toronto FC - I think they are still good.
3) Toronto Rock - Does Jimmy Veltman or Colin Doyle still play? Those guys were fucking beasts.
4) Toronto Argonauts - a professional sports franchise by title.
5) Toronto Young Nationals - Midget AAA Hockey Team playing in the Greater Toronto Hockey League. Champions in 2018-2019.
6) Toronto Maple Leafs - Professional Hockey Team playing in the National Hockey League. Have not been champions since that guy in the Tragically Hip song disappeared. In the summer. He was on a fishing trip.
7) Toronto Rush - a professional ultimate Frisbee team currently playing on an obscure cable channel. Record is currently 3-2. Did not give up 19 runs to the Padres today.
8) North Toronto Athletics 13U AA - currently 5-0 and have only surrendered 20 runs on the season; 19 of which did not occur in a single game.
NR) Toronto Blue Jays
LET'S GO RAPTORSSSSSSSS
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